Belladonna

  Running from myself, chasing shadows that aren’t mine, I’ve been carving out pieces of my soul to fit into molds that crumble. This isn’t who I am— it never was, it could never be. I hate the way I drift, circling others, losing myself. But solitude isn’t salvation; it’s just an echo that deepens the void. Tears fall, but they’re just water— they carry none of the weight, none of the ache. My heart remains heavy, a stone I cannot lift. I want to move forward, but I’m trapped in the same place, blaming my mind, blaming myself— but excuses aren’t enough anymore. Something inside is off, something isn’t right. It’s not sadness, not anger, not fear— just an empty, numbing heaviness. that even time refuses to heal. Talking exhausts me. Breathing exhausts me. Living feels like drowning in stillness. So here I lie, caught in this in-between, hating what I’ve become but too tired to fight my way out.

When Stars Set  I'll wait for you, To come and get, I'll wait, Even if stars do set. Waiting patiently, For your sweet return, Even for a moment, Is forever to yearn. I'll wait for you, And love you true, Forever, always, And ever after, too.

IT WASN’T LOVE It wasn’t love, just a fleeting lie, A lonely heart too scared to cry. Desperate whispers filled the air, Grasping for someone who’d simply care. A kid, naive, in tangled strings, Calling obsession the love it brings. But love was never meant to weigh, A hollow ache that fades away. Loneliness sat beneath it all, A quiet scream, a desperate call. One soul, one face, the only way To keep the empty nights at bay. I see it now, the truth so clear, It wasn’t love that brought you near. Just a shadow, a fragile art, A borrowed warmth for a weary heart. ~ A Lonely Girl, Desperate to Fight Her Loneliness

The Ache Within ! Defeated by the world, undone by love, I wander, heavy, beneath stars above. A tempest stirs where silence resides, A fragile truth my heart still hides. An unspoken plea, a scream to the air, But who would notice? Who would care? Words fall hollow, like whispers on stone, People come, they go, and I’m left alone. Yet still, this heart beats, longing to bare Its shadowed depths to a soul who’ll dare— Not those who scoff, who cast me aside, But those who’ll stay, arms open wide. Once more, I choke on tears untamed, Breathless beneath a sky unnamed. No cure for this ache, no solace near, A quiet torment only I can hear. “I’m fine,” I murmur, though lies stain my breath, For my soul aches with a living death. Some bleed for love, for fleeting desire, But I bleed for family, their cold, quiet fire. Their words cut deep, unseen, unkind, Scars etched in places no one can find. Why speak at all, when it falls in vain? This war is mine, to bear the pain. They know not sorrow,...

Once Again. Can we meet, For the first time again, Not as friends, But something deeper—unspoken, untamed. I’d tell you the things I’ve hidden so well, The quiet dreams, The stories I’ll never tell. Not as buddies who laugh Through endless nights, But as two who wonder What if the stars aligned just right. It’s dangerous, this thought, A reckless spark in the rain. To cross the line we’ve drawn Would be both joy and pain. You’re my safe place, My treasure, my calm, The one I turn to When the world feels wrong. So I’ll keep this wish Tucked quietly away, For the bond we share Is too precious to fray. Still, I wonder— Could we meet once again? Not as friends, But as soulmates who'd stay.