Belladonna

Misery, I miss it, Like sun misses the moon so far. A whisper in hollow, Where hurt was home. I’m healing now, or so I say, In days that come and go away. I wear this calm like borrowed mask, Like shifted shape and tattered heart. I’m at peace — I guess. Soft, polite, and far too still. But ohh, the Chaos — it used to sing, And I — I used to feel. I miss the bruises I called mine, The echoed screams behind my eyes. They held me close, they knew my name, In ways this Silence could never compare. Perhaps I wore the ache too long, Stitched the sorrow deep along. Now joy feels foreign, love feels light, And I miss the part that used to fright. So here I stand — half whole, half gone, Torn between the dusk and dawn, Craving for what once tore me apart, Aching for ache that named my heart.

Unstable again, the storm returns, A mess inside that aches and burns. I don’t know what I’m meant to do, This hollow pain feels far too true. It’s weird, it’s loud, it doesn’t cease, It steals my rest, disturbs my peace. I hate the weight it brings each time, Its rhythm beats against my rhyme. It creeps inside, beneath my skin, A war I lose, I cannot win. To bone and back, it makes its mark, A haunting howl within the dark. It’s stayed for years, it won’t let go, A shadow cast on all I know. I name it not, yet feel it near— This feeling fed by quiet fear.

The place people call home, I name my hell. For all I've known is tomb, Of all the memories I bear. The walls hold secrets no one tells, Their silence louder than a cry. Each step I take, a shadow dwells, A past that never says goodbye. The air is thick with things unsaid, With love that left, with dreams that died. I close my eyes, but in my head, The ghosts still sit here by my side. The place people call safe, I call my cage. For all I’ve known is loss, And the weight of quiet rage.

  Running from myself, chasing shadows that aren’t mine, I’ve been carving out pieces of my soul to fit into molds that crumble. This isn’t who I am— it never was, it could never be. I hate the way I drift, circling others, losing myself. But solitude isn’t salvation; it’s just an echo that deepens the void. Tears fall, but they’re just water— they carry none of the weight, none of the ache. My heart remains heavy, a stone I cannot lift. I want to move forward, but I’m trapped in the same place, blaming my mind, blaming myself— but excuses aren’t enough anymore. Something inside is off, something isn’t right. It’s not sadness, not anger, not fear— just an empty, numbing heaviness. that even time refuses to heal. Talking exhausts me. Breathing exhausts me. Living feels like drowning in stillness. So here I lie, caught in this in-between, hating what I’ve become but too tired to fight my way out.

IT WASN’T LOVE It wasn’t love, just a fleeting lie, A lonely heart too scared to cry. Desperate whispers filled the air, Grasping for someone who’d simply care. A kid, naive, in tangled strings, Calling obsession the love it brings. But love was never meant to weigh, A hollow ache that fades away. Loneliness sat beneath it all, A quiet scream, a desperate call. One soul, one face, the only way To keep the empty nights at bay. I see it now, the truth so clear, It wasn’t love that brought you near. Just a shadow, a fragile art, A borrowed warmth for a weary heart. ~ A Lonely Girl, Desperate to Fight Her Loneliness

The Ache Within ! Defeated by the world, undone by love, I wander, heavy, beneath stars above. A tempest stirs where silence resides, A fragile truth my heart still hides. An unspoken plea, a scream to the air, But who would notice? Who would care? Words fall hollow, like whispers on stone, People come, they go, and I’m left alone. Yet still, this heart beats, longing to bare Its shadowed depths to a soul who’ll dare— Not those who scoff, who cast me aside, But those who’ll stay, arms open wide. Once more, I choke on tears untamed, Breathless beneath a sky unnamed. No cure for this ache, no solace near, A quiet torment only I can hear. “I’m fine,” I murmur, though lies stain my breath, For my soul aches with a living death. Some bleed for love, for fleeting desire, But I bleed for family, their cold, quiet fire. Their words cut deep, unseen, unkind, Scars etched in places no one can find. Why speak at all, when it falls in vain? This war is mine, to bear the pain. They know not sorrow,...

Fictitious freedom I feel as though I was made for The cold nights, The quiet fights, The lingering hope of "I might." Might create something, Might achieve a dream, Might break away from it all And truly live—free. A life they call lonely I name my freedom. It may not seem lovely, But it’s my own kingdom. All I need Is the peace my soul has sought, The warmth beneath the frost That my room has always brought. That’s all I ask, Of life still yet to come: Find me whole, And let peace embrace me home.

Fragile Confessions of a Fearful Heart I long to see you, but I cannot go, For fear you'll glimpse the cracks I show. A part of me I dare not face, A fragile soul in a fragile place. Would you turn, would you walk away, If you saw the mess I am today? The fear of losing what we’ve made, Haunts my nights and clouds my days. How can love find a home in me, When I can't love the face I see? With flaws unhidden, and beauty rare, I’m scared I’ll fade in the world you share. I dread the moment our hearts might part, A fragile bond torn from the start. And though I ache to let you near, I’m trapped within my quiet fear.

Echoes of Silence