Im scared

-

I’m scared of you, dear,

I’m scared — and I don’t lie.

I don’t know what to do anymore,

Just watching you makes me cry.


I’m scared of how you flinch

At the thought of losing me,

How you carve that pain into skin

Like love needs proof to be.


I’m scared of how you smile

While talking of blood and war.

You’re soft and sweet and lovely,

But your mind keeps asking for more.


I’m scared of the way you think,

Not of who you truly are,

But of the thoughts that drive you mad,

That tear your soul apart.


I’m scared because I love you,

And love should feel like peace,

But some nights it grips my chest,

And the fear just won’t release.


I wish I could hold you still,

Quiet the thunder in your head.

But I’m scared I’ll die inside this fear,

With a heart so fragile, you never meant to break..

Comments

  1. VanshDecember 5, 2025 at 9:16 PM

    Perhaps you're not scared because you love,cause in that you find the bliss beyond the anguish, beyond the soul. You're scared, debilatated of the ineludible certitude, that despite bestowing the shattered fractions of the self, that despite engraving unkindered notion of the soul within love. You're still distilling. It's assuredly untrue that you've not transcended. Ofcourse you've acquainted the ephemeral hymns,the eternal warmth, the involatile shadows.perhaps you have to endure the Unendurable revelation that you cannot and certainly will not be able to pour everything in order. It's the notorious nature of love that it sustains even when you're not transcending. You will always come across the certainty that you haven't loved enough, cause you're still aching that's not deplorable that's the moment you have to prevail over the flames.
    But despite prevailing, despite enduring the nocturnal you spiral to the same wind. Then perhaps it's not your fault.
    Cause love doesn't cure anything, instead love makes you breathe. Despite loving someone through all their imperfections, through all of your imperfections and transcending as together. You would attain the eternal warmth but sometimes, you're banished to abide within it. That's not because you haven't loved enough or the one hasn't loved you enough.and it's neither the fact that both or anyone is struggling to love the other. The truest cause is because at that pivotal moment you yearn something that untethers you as a whole,that separates and perhaps you can't acquaint that something when you're together, despite of what one has done. And remember the inexplicable yearning doesn't make you a naught nor nefarious it just makes you human and more than that, it just makes you, a bit of yourself. Perhaps love alone itself is not capable to swell altogether, perhaps it's the endurance of the self, of those fragments of the self that is inexplicable, that is still shattered.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BelladonnaDecember 28, 2025 at 2:55 PM

      Love doesn't cure anything, instead love makes you breathe." I think I needed to hear that more than I realized. Thank you for seeing past the fear and into the 'distilling' of it all, and for reminding me that being human is enough even when I can't pour everything into order. And one more thing......
      Dudee no shit sherlock you still read these 😭😂

      Delete
    2. VanshDecember 28, 2025 at 11:03 PM

      Something happened so lost it all ,yk. But got back as soon as i could.
      I read and reflect because it's something poignant, it's like a hymn amidst the nocturnal choir of life. You better write more and more, I'm there to read the all,

      Delete
    3. AnonymousDecember 29, 2025 at 2:54 PM

      I'm glad you got back 🤞.... Honestly I needed your comment cuz like you see I haven't been writing lately as life hasn't been all bad neither all good and admist this my brain is in literal Fogg but again I'm glad that you read and reflect and I hope to soon start writing again and pick that damn pen up. Actually you can also drop a few words that means Smth to you if you feel like doing so , I would love to turn your feelings into words.

      Delete
    4. VanshDecember 29, 2025 at 8:31 PM

      Listen. I don't know what you're going through, how miserably you've endured the nocturnal hymns, that how that ephemeral moment of bliss has led you this afar. What you gonna ve tomorrow, will you drown in impotency will you fervently engrave yourself within the void. But i do well know that, you should not lose yourself amidst the unfathomable damnation,amidst the intractable blueness.
      (From my opinion, which I don't think you should follow but least, listen.) Even if it means to be unloved, to be desolated not only from the inevitable elements but also from the very self, the oneness a part of it, i presume. I know you'll get over the mist, pick the damn pen and just inflict who you are, what you yearn what you're becoming what you could never be anything. Just write,yk.
      And i would've dropped everything,yk, but I can't.let 'It' all be spiralled, transcend,decay within. I don't want you to get involved in the ineludible mosaic of words, you're a writer and more than that a human, so you do damn know through words we we choose our owj damnation, words gives us the blissful yet intractable incarceration. So i don't want anyone, to be indwelled within the incarceration, within the realm.

      I'll be there to listen and reflect, so yes you're not alone in this!!
      And yes, i will reflect. Not to the all you know. I don't want to fake it, i will be when I'm capable of, yk. So good fortune for your upcoming miseries and bliss!

      Delete
    5. BelladonnaJanuary 1, 2026 at 8:08 PM

      Speechless me.... But well happy new year buddy!

      Delete
    6. VanshJanuary 1, 2026 at 10:53 PM

      Uhm, happy new year!! madame. Acquaint the strayed, endure the unfathomable. Have a hell of an year!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turns Out I Can Still Write 🌸

-
We’re so young, it feels surreal, Yet I crave a life with you for real. Each day without you aches a bit, Like love’s too big and I can't quit. I hated marriage all my life, Never dreamt of being a wife. But now that you exist so true, All I want is to marry you. You’re younger, yeah, that part is clear, But love don’t care for age, my dear. We’re growing up, not just in love, But in the life we’re dreaming of. I want to see you, face to face, To hold you close in warm embrace. But till that day, I’ll wait and stay, ‘Cause you and I—we’ll find our way. You’re not just words you never mean, You’re every promise I have seen. And deep inside I truly know, You’ll keep them all, and help us grow. I know you love me, yes you do, But babe, I swear I love you more too. More than the stars, more than the sky, More than the world knows how to try. I thought I wrote best when in pain, That misery fed my poet brain. But love this deep, it speaks so loud— Enough to make my pen feel proud.
Read more

Star & Nightgale

-
All I write is a flame of pain, Where poisons pulse and twist my brain. I beg of you—please, stay away From the mess I’ve made, my grand façade. You’re a star, while I’m night-gale dark, My love’s a wine—you dive in deep. And now you're here, already within, Let me give you all that’s steady beneath my sin. So take this heart, though stitched and torn, A sacred flame forever sworn. I’ll burn for you, both bright and true— Even if it ruins me to.
Read more