Belladonna

The place people call home, I name my hell. For all I've known is tomb, Of all the memories I bear. The walls hold secrets no one tells, Their silence louder than a cry. Each step I take, a shadow dwells, A past that never says goodbye. The air is thick with things unsaid, With love that left, with dreams that died. I close my eyes, but in my head, The ghosts still sit here by my side. The place people call safe, I call my cage. For all I’ve known is loss, And the weight of quiet rage.

I don't know where I am, or where I should be. I am nothing, I feel nothing, but somehow, it still drowns me. Is this better than being numb? Is this worse than feeling pain? I don’t know—I don’t know anything, just the weight of my own name. I hate this, I hate this, this silence that screams. I want to run, to fade, to disappear, or maybe just breathe. But how? How do I move, when the air is too thick to take in? How do I speak, when my voice is swallowed whole? I don’t know. I don’t know. I just don’t know.

  Running from myself, chasing shadows that aren’t mine, I’ve been carving out pieces of my soul to fit into molds that crumble. This isn’t who I am— it never was, it could never be. I hate the way I drift, circling others, losing myself. But solitude isn’t salvation; it’s just an echo that deepens the void. Tears fall, but they’re just water— they carry none of the weight, none of the ache. My heart remains heavy, a stone I cannot lift. I want to move forward, but I’m trapped in the same place, blaming my mind, blaming myself— but excuses aren’t enough anymore. Something inside is off, something isn’t right. It’s not sadness, not anger, not fear— just an empty, numbing heaviness. that even time refuses to heal. Talking exhausts me. Breathing exhausts me. Living feels like drowning in stillness. So here I lie, caught in this in-between, hating what I’ve become but too tired to fight my way out.

When Stars Set  I'll wait for you, To come and get, I'll wait, Even if stars do set. Waiting patiently, For your sweet return, Even for a moment, Is forever to yearn. I'll wait for you, And love you true, Forever, always, And ever after, too.

IT WASN’T LOVE It wasn’t love, just a fleeting lie, A lonely heart too scared to cry. Desperate whispers filled the air, Grasping for someone who’d simply care. A kid, naive, in tangled strings, Calling obsession the love it brings. But love was never meant to weigh, A hollow ache that fades away. Loneliness sat beneath it all, A quiet scream, a desperate call. One soul, one face, the only way To keep the empty nights at bay. I see it now, the truth so clear, It wasn’t love that brought you near. Just a shadow, a fragile art, A borrowed warmth for a weary heart. ~ A Lonely Girl, Desperate to Fight Her Loneliness

The Ache Within ! Defeated by the world, undone by love, I wander, heavy, beneath stars above. A tempest stirs where silence resides, A fragile truth my heart still hides. An unspoken plea, a scream to the air, But who would notice? Who would care? Words fall hollow, like whispers on stone, People come, they go, and I’m left alone. Yet still, this heart beats, longing to bare Its shadowed depths to a soul who’ll dare— Not those who scoff, who cast me aside, But those who’ll stay, arms open wide. Once more, I choke on tears untamed, Breathless beneath a sky unnamed. No cure for this ache, no solace near, A quiet torment only I can hear. “I’m fine,” I murmur, though lies stain my breath, For my soul aches with a living death. Some bleed for love, for fleeting desire, But I bleed for family, their cold, quiet fire. Their words cut deep, unseen, unkind, Scars etched in places no one can find. Why speak at all, when it falls in vain? This war is mine, to bear the pain. They know not sorrow,...

Once Again. Can we meet, For the first time again, Not as friends, But something deeper—unspoken, untamed. I’d tell you the things I’ve hidden so well, The quiet dreams, The stories I’ll never tell. Not as buddies who laugh Through endless nights, But as two who wonder What if the stars aligned just right. It’s dangerous, this thought, A reckless spark in the rain. To cross the line we’ve drawn Would be both joy and pain. You’re my safe place, My treasure, my calm, The one I turn to When the world feels wrong. So I’ll keep this wish Tucked quietly away, For the bond we share Is too precious to fray. Still, I wonder— Could we meet once again? Not as friends, But as soulmates who'd stay.

Chosen You. Out of nowhere, these feelings surge, Unfamiliar, like whispers on the verge— I’ve never known love, nor how it feels to be loved, Yet here I stand, by these emotions shoved. It’s a longing I can’t quite define, A yearning to have your soul align with mine. To close the gap of hearts and miles, To trade silence for laughter, tears, and smiles. I dream of your arms, a gentle embrace, Of kisses shared, of a tender space. Of growing old with your hand in mine, A life together, a love divine. But fear, it lingers, a shadow so near, What if you fade, what if you disappear? What if all I imagine is but an illusion, A fragile hope met with confusion? You are my constant, my precious part, The tether that holds the pieces of my heart. I’d give you all of me, if only I could, But can I feel this way? Should I? I don’t understand this ache, this fire, Yet I know you’re the one I desire. To be closer, to be whole, to be true— My heart has chosen, and it’s chosen you.

Fictitious freedom I feel as though I was made for The cold nights, The quiet fights, The lingering hope of "I might." Might create something, Might achieve a dream, Might break away from it all And truly live—free. A life they call lonely I name my freedom. It may not seem lovely, But it’s my own kingdom. All I need Is the peace my soul has sought, The warmth beneath the frost That my room has always brought. That’s all I ask, Of life still yet to come: Find me whole, And let peace embrace me home.

WINTER AGAIN It is the time, The chill returns to claim its reign, A season marked by grief and pain, With icy threads that bind the veins. The frost clings heavy to the ground, A silence where no joy is found. Each breath a cloud of fleeting gray, Each step a ghost of yesterday. Beneath the sky, so cold, so wide, The world seems frozen from inside. Memories linger, sharp and clear, Like icy whispers near the ear. But winter comes, and winter goes, Through bitter winds and heavy snows. A season dark, yet not the end, For even ice will break and bend. So here we stand in winter's grip, A fragile, ever-drifting ship. And though the cold may seize the day, Spring waits  beneath this frozen sway.

You're the dawn that paints my sky, A spark that lights the darkest night. With every word, a flower blooms, Sweet as honey, soft as moons. You’re the ease to my heavy heart, A whisper soft that soothes each part. Moments grow beneath your care, Joy expanding with every stare. You lift me up when the world falls apart, A hope that blossoms deep in my heart. With gentle love, you guide my way, A shaded bridge beneath the stars' sway. You craft delight in a world so wild, A hope that blooms, tender and mild. Your words, my love, are all I need, A sweet escape from all I see.

I long to speak, but words won't stay, They stumble, falter, fade away. This love, unspoken, weighs me down, A heavy cross I dare not crown. It pulls me close, then leaves me bare, A tender warmth, yet cold despair. I reach for you, but fear the sting, Of fragile hearts and what love brings. The tides of love, both calm and cruel, A game of hearts, a bitter duel. It sinks so deep, yet keeps me bound— A fleeting whisper, never found. And yet, despite this endless ache, My heart still beats for your sweet sake. A fleeting whisper, soft and true, Carries my love—unheard by you.

Fragile Confessions of a Fearful Heart I long to see you, but I cannot go, For fear you'll glimpse the cracks I show. A part of me I dare not face, A fragile soul in a fragile place. Would you turn, would you walk away, If you saw the mess I am today? The fear of losing what we’ve made, Haunts my nights and clouds my days. How can love find a home in me, When I can't love the face I see? With flaws unhidden, and beauty rare, I’m scared I’ll fade in the world you share. I dread the moment our hearts might part, A fragile bond torn from the start. And though I ache to let you near, I’m trapped within my quiet fear.

Home --- Was waiting for a light to shine, Until I found solace In depths of darkness. For in the dark, there's no shadow. Pain is comfort, despair is home, Where tears fall like autumn's leaves alone. The silence is my lullaby; In sorrow's darkness, I reside. In this abyss, I find my peace, A strange solace, a dark release From expectations, from desires, Free from the weight of burning fires. Here, I am free to wander wide In shadows that are my heart's inside. No judgment, no pretense to hide, Just the quiet, hollow sense to abide. Stillness, emptiness, space to breathe, Where thoughts and emotions softly seethe. And in the void, I find my way To a somber peace, in endless day. ---

Echoes of Silence 

Aisle Of Life I really hope, it's him by my side, Through the aisle of life. With every step, with every breath, His love shines bright, calming my depth. In laughter and tears, joy and strife, He's my partner, sharing life. Through life's ups and downs, we'll find our way, Together, come what may. In his arms, my heart finds its nest, With him, love beats at its best. With every sunrise, every night, I'll cherish him, holding tight. Through life's twists and turns, we'll face the test, Together, forever, our love will find its best. I really hope, it's him by my side, Through the aisle of life.

  Haunting Memories  I once found you annoying, The type I'd avoid, yet you remained. Your persistence wore me down, And I grew comfortable, unaware. You made new connections, moved on, Left me lonely, lost, and forlorn. I silently fell for you, While you praised another's beauty. I masked my pain with a smile, As you walked away, without a glance. Now, memories of our time haunt, Longing for what could never be mine.

If Only He Were Mine If only he were mine to hold, I'd wrap him tight, never to grow cold. Lips would meet, hearts beating fast, Bound together, our love would last. In his eyes, my soul would dwell, With every breath, my love would swell. I'd cherish every smile, every tear, And wipe away each sorrow, every fear. With gentle touch, I'd soothe his skin, And in his arms, find my haven within. Together we'd dance, under starry skies, And our love song, the world would realize. In dreams, I see our future bright, A love that shines through endless night. If only he were mine, I'd make it true, Forever and always, my heart beats for you.

  Songs of flee Once a pretty soul Bounded by a crowl Walked along with me Singing songs of flee Only to believe life was better free Shadows chasing him Until the sun was dim Escaping till we breathe It's only been a week But soul feels so weak Fragile heart beats slow Longing for life to glow Now we run along Save us from the dim Hold on to what's bright Don't let the shadows win.

My Dear Friend  Dear Death, my final friend, We'll meet when life's journey ends. Until then, I'll patiently wait, So that in eternity, we never separate. In life's fleeting, fragile dance, I've known love, joy, and second chances. But with each breath, our meeting draws near, A reunion that casts out all fear. Your presence whispers secrets untold, Of realms beyond mortal sight and hold. A mystery that beckons me to roam, Free from the chains of life's brief home. When time's thin thread is finally snapped, And earthly bonds are forever relaxed, I'll find solace in your gentle hand, Guiding me through the unknown land. Together we'll stroll along the shore, Where stars and dreams forever roar. No goodbyes, no tears, no pain, Just eternal peace, and love's refrain. So I'll await our destined embrace, With heart and soul, in a quiet space. For in your company, I'll find my way, To a forever where love stays.

  Love's Whisper  What is this feeling I can't define, Heart fluttering, soul so divine. Surreal sensations, words untold, Longing for touch, young love to hold. Nervous heart, craving more, Uneasy apart, eyes locked galore. His gentle voice, my peaceful nest, By his side, my heart finds rest. Is this love's whisper or just the start? A feeling so strong, yet hard to chart.

In moonlit gardens, I bloom alone, A deadly beauty, with poisonous throne. My petals unfurl, like shadowy wings, Whispering secrets, to the midnight kings. Shadows dance around me, dark and tall, Their whispers weaving, a haunted call. Forgotten memories, like autumn leaves, Rustle beneath, my silken eaves. In cryptic messages, I reveal my heart, A language known, only to the dark. The moon above, casts an eerie glow, Illuminating paths, where few dare go. My scent enchants, like a siren's song, Luring victims, to their fatal throng. Yet, in my darkness, lies a strange allure, A beauty fatal, yet forever pure. So come, dear one, and heed my call, In whispers spoken, beneath the moon's pall. For in my shadows, secrets will unfold, And in my poison, stories will be told.

  Genuine Wave We can sit, we can talk, And do it often in the sun. But if you're here looking for fun, This is where you've got no turn. We can laugh, we can share, Depth of thoughts, without a care. But if you're seeking empty thrill, You're knocking on the wrong hill. In my space, sincerity reigns, No room for shallow, fleeting games. If genuine connection's what you seek, Then let's walk this path unique. Respect and trust, a must to stay, No room for games, come what may. If heart-to-hearts are what you crave, Then join me in this genuine wave.

Dance with me Dance with me, till our worlds collide, Dance with me, as if you're only mine. Dance as if we're the only ones, In this world where we forever shine. Dance with me, beneath starry skies, Dance with me, with loving eyes. In every step, our hearts entwine, Forever lost in love's sweet rhyme. Dance with me, through life's delight, Dance with me, through morning light. In every moment, we'll find our way, Together, come what may. Dance with me, in silence deep, Dance with me, in love's sweet sleep. Our love's symphony, echoes free, A love forever meant to be. 

The Neglected Romance of Stars People have romanticized the moon, To the extent that stars have been neglected. But stars are romance too— A romance that lights the darkest sky. A romance that fades in city brightness, A romance reserved for silent nights, A romance that dreams in endless heights, A romance worth living for. In constellations, stories unfold, Of myths and legends, young and old. Orion's belt, a celestial guide, Andromeda's beauty, side by side. Their gentle sparkle, a lover's sigh, A whispered promise in the evening sky. The stars' soft twinkle, a heartbeat's pace, A celestial waltz, in infinite space. So let us cherish these stars above, And find our own romance in their endless love. For in their light, our hearts take flight, And in their silence, our souls unite.

  Never Getting Close to You ! In celestial skies, stars shine bright, Untouchable, yet a wondrous sight. Like them, you sparkle in my eyes, A treasure cherished, from a safe surprise. Our friendship's bond, I hold so dear, A connection pure, without a fear. But love's warm flame, that burns inside, I dare not speak, lest our bond divide. So I'll admire you from afar, A radiant star, beyond my scar. No risk of harm, no danger near, Our friendship's sanctuary, always clear. Like stargazers, lost in the night, I'll gaze at you, with secret delight. Never getting close, yet always near, A love concealed, a friendship held dear.

Hope In Disguise Everyone thinks I'm fine, But only I know my heart's confine. Behind lively eyes, I conceal my pain, A mask that hides my true self in vain. No one understands, or so I've found, So I bear the weight, alone and bound. But still I hold on to hope's pure light, A beacon guiding through life's darkest night. Time heals, they say, and I believe, That rain will cease, and sunshine will relieve. Each bad day passes, making way for new, A rainbow after rain, a dawn breaks through. Not today, nor tomorrow, but one day, Change will come, and drive the blues away. I'll find my lost happiness, it's not gone, Just hidden, waiting to be rediscovered strong. So I'll keep moving forward, never still, Holding hope close, against life's chill. Go on, never lose hope, I tell my soul, A brighter future awaits, making me whole. ^_^ Keep shining, hold on to hope.

Fireflies Be like a firefly, Stay bright and fly high. You can't light up the sky, But can surely light up your sight. Amidst the vast, endless night, Your glow, a spark so slight, May seem small, a flickering gleam, Yet it's the bearer of dreams unseen. In shadows where silence lies, Your light whispers, "Hope never dies." Though the stars may outshine your glow, Your unique spark helps others grow. So dance with the winds, embrace the dark, Every flash leaves its radiant mark. You may be tiny, but you're not weak, For even small lights are what we seek. Be like a firefly, Illuminate hearts passing by. A beacon of courage, a flicker of grace, A little miracle in life's vast space.